Greasy

Shuuji and I were still nuzzling up to each other in bed while Ryuuji holed himself up in the bathroom to wash his hair. He was pretty annoyed when Shuuji got some of his cum in his long locks and I would be too if that happened to me. I was enjoying the moment when my stomach started growling rather loudly. The man beside me couldn't help but be amused.

"Is it time for a midnight snack?" he snickered.

"More like a midnight meal," I grumbled. "I'm in the mood for something terrible."

"Pizza?" he suggested? "Oh! I saw this ad on the train earlier today where this store made a cheese volcano for their pizza."

"A what?" I asked him, utterly confused.

"It's basically a standard pizza, but the middle of the pie is fortified with a giant mound of melted cheese in the shape of a volcano," he explained with glee. "Wait here—Imma go order it."

"Shuuji—"

But before I could stop him, he had already ran out of the bedroom over to his PC to place an order.

"At least get something normal along with it!" I hollered.

The bathroom door swung open as the trapped steam billowed out. Ryuuji was still toweling himself off. "'Normal'? What the hell are you up to?"

"I'm not up to anything," I swore. "I just said I was hungry and craving something terrible and Shuuji started telling me about this... this cheese volcano pizza he saw an ad for on the train?"

"Oh, gimme a fucking break," he groaned. "The last time he ordered some gimmicky fast food item, he wouldn't shut up about how awful it made him feel afterward."

"I did tell him to get something normal... I don't think I want to try this cursed-sounding pizza."

"How can he still have so much energy after all that..." I heard Ryuuji curse under his breath as he stormed out of the room.

Sighing, I forced myself to leave the warm bed and walk out to try and stop my boyfriends from killing each other. It looked like Ryuuji managed to punch Shuuji in the back of his head. I immediately rushed over to check on him to make sure Ryuuji didn't give him a concussion.

"Stop using my damn credit card for your impulse purchases," Ryuuji scowled.

"But Ryuujiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," he whined, "your card has better rewards. I'm just being considerate!"

"Okay, but you also never pay him back, Shuuji," I interjected. "I doubt Ryuuji would mind that much if you covered the bill."

"And you never fucking do," he sighed. "I am going to tie you down to a chair and force-feed you the whole damn thing if you even try to throw it out."

"Only if you can catch me first☆" Shuuji winked before scuttling away out of the apartment.

I held Ryuuji back from committing murder. "I'll pay you back for it. It's my fault he even did this."

He sighed again as he pulled me in for a hug, gently kissing my forehead in the process. "I'm not concerned about the money, . It's just the principles of it, y'know."

"Shuuji's purpose in life is to annoy you to no end," I laughed. "Let's go back to bed—I'm cold."

Ryuuji picked me up into his arms and carried me back to the warm and inviting blankets. We spent a while cuddling while some awful slasher film was playing on the TV in the background. Both of us had almost forgotten that Shuuji ran off until he kicked the bedroom door open and set two pizza boxes down on the sheets.

"If the grease soaks through, you're the one doing the laundry tomorrow," Ryuuji hissed.

"Fine, fine," Shuuji relented.

I reached over and opened the box with the word "VOLCANO" written on it. The pizza inside was divided into four distinct quarters. The center looked like it was made using pizza dough and was filled with a radioactive orange cheese sauce. I wasn't sure whether to be horrified or impressed with this creation.

"Wow, it actually looks like the ads!" Shuuji laughed in amusement.

"Who was the rocket scientist that came up with this?" Ryuuji mumbled.

I reached for one of the slices topped with the most vegetables. "I mean, the pizza looks normal. It's the cheese sauce in the middle..."

"Couldn't they have just put the cheese sauce into a plastic container like they do with the other ones?" Ryuuji wondered.

"But, how would they make a profit and have their five seconds of fame if they didn't do this?" Shuuji pointed out. "Try it out, ! Give us your scathing review."

I sighed as I dipped my slice into the cursed cheese sauce and bit into it. Much to my surprise, it didn't taste as horrible as it looked.

"I hate to say that it's not as bad as it looks."

"Really?" both of my boyfriends said in unison before they each grabbed a random slice from the pizza and tried it out themselves.

"The sauce could use more salt," was Ryuuji's comment.

"It tastes too fake to be real cheese," Shuuji noted. "Then again, this is just fast food..."

"I say it's the perfect amount of grease to satisfy my cravings," I concluded. "I would never order this again, though."

"It's limited edition, so you won't have to worry about that☆" Shuuji winked.

"Thank the Lord," Ryuuji said in a relieved tone. "Now, I never have to worry about this appearing on my credit card statement ever again."